Conservatives ban ‘veracity’
The carnage continues throughout upper class England after the Conservatives decree ‘veracity’ is no longer cromulent.
Speculum Rees-Mogg (no relation to any real person living or dead) said “I’ve personally had to, ahem, dispose of four children due to naming three of them in honour of my aunt Milicent Verum Mortuus Est Veracity Rees Mogg (no relation to any real person living or dead) .
“Veracity clearly had to go, as any nod to reality within the party can lead to consequences & we thought it better to be safe than sorry with Veracitus, Veracitania and poor, dearest, dearest ,sweet, sweet Caliente How could she have ever got on at boarding school without her sisters?” The man, who was inexplicably, wearing a top hat, but had a much easier to understand ‘punch me in the face’ post-it note stuck on his back continued “In this post truth society we in the Conservatives have done more than almost any others to bring the truth to its knees begging for mercy. ”
At this point we were interrupted by a very, very small man tugging on Mr Rees-Mogg’s trousers. Mr Toad was some kind of Government source it seemed
“It is unfortunate for some. Luckily we stuck to the traditional toad family classics, Masturbatia and Unpronounciatia.” smirked the strange weasely little fellow who seemed to have forgotten to return his wind in the willows extras costume. “Cromulence is of utmost importance to the Conservative party. We need a new measure of propriety. One that only ourselves, and those who can afford a twelve week lesson in New Conservatism can understand.
It’s alleged The BBC may have talked to some Government sources:A Government source said, “the best thing about being a government source is you never have to explain who you are or how you know what you know. If the “Government” source is promoting the party line, then the Government source is “The Government” said a source.
I er.. I..er well you..know… thought it better to be..er…ha..er…safe..than er….you know sword of damoclese er..what..come on..ha! …well…er…ha..you..er..ha..come..on..er..well..er. consequences